November 1, 2020

On Friday I had several appointments at the Cancer Center. I got my labs done, saw the Nurse Practitioner, got Zometa infusion (for bone cancer), and my shots of Faslodex (the new treatment). Nothing else really exciting happened. The NP did order an echo just to get a baseline. So I will do that hopefully next week. My labs are still looking “ok”. They showed that I am slightly anemic and my liver values are a little elevated so we will keep an eye on them. My next appointments are not until Friday 11/13 so I have two weeks off!!!!

I must say that my voice is really bothering me. It’s like I have to strain so hard to talk and I get so winded. I’ve decided that I will wait until January when I get my scans and if they are improved but my voice is not, I will consider getting an injection to my paralyzed left vocal cord. It wouldn’t be a big deal except I have to be completely under. This would be done by an ENT.

So I still think that I am in the “processing shit” phase. And, maybe I always will be. When I try to think about death and how to prepare, I can’t do it. I just go directly back to processing everything. I did decide to buy a book on death and dying and how to prepare. It came the other day but I am going to save it for our La Quinta trip. I mean really, how, at 43 years old, do you prepare for death?? I’m not ready and I know that I will be so scared, when the times comes. Well, maybe not. Maybe by then I will have come to terms with it and be at peace. Don’t mean to be so depressing but it is my new reality. The best thing for me to do is just relax and enjoy life until my next scans in January. If they show this treatment didn’t work, well then I know we have a problem. One thing is I have so much on my bucket list that I better get started!!

Thanks for reading along.

Love, Jen xoxo